Day One

First day of school

Kindergarten

I should be happy

But I want to go home

I want to run screaming

I hate this place

I hate these people

I am so small

It’s why I’m consumed

My hate is bigger than me

I ride the bus home

I sit in the back

I stare out the window

My hallow eyes

She sits in the back too

She is avoiding the smiles

It’s hard to smile back

When you want to die

I ignore her

She ignores me

We don’t notice each other

We’re perfect

I want them out of my face

I don’t care what they do

What they say

Just don’t make me respond

Don’t ask me anything

What I’m thinking

You won’t be happy

I just might scare you

And all they do is tell me

I should care

They want me to care

Well I just don’t

I get home and I am very quiet

I’ve learned this well

There’s nothing I should say

How was your day

Fine I lie

I have nothing to share

I won’t tell you anything

So just don’t ask me again

But I know it’s coming

It’s repeated

By everyone I know

They all ask me differently

I answer them all the same

Fine

I am fine

It was fine

Just fine

Isn’t that good enough

I want to not be regarded

Not spoken of

Or to

Can I get through this world

Without other people

And their boring interests

Just take the things I do love

And hide

Be left alone with my toys

But when I feel I might finally get that

They come a knocking

They say it’s dinnertime

Yet I’m not hungry

But that doesn’t matter

I must do what they say

So I come back to them

They make their talk

And I zone out

And want to die

I bring up something I miss

Like peace and quiet

They don’t want to hear it

My hopes are abandoned

I keep on eating

Listen to my chewing

And count in my head

Replay the stupid things I heard

From older people

Who all told me what to do

 

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