Episode 2 (Click to hear)
“Super Squirrels pt. 2”
Announcer: Faster than a quickie before work! More powerful than a birth control pill! Able to jump into someone else’s bed without a sound! It’s the Spanish Conquistador! The only character to wrestle raging bulls with no effort at all. His weekly adventures follow him through peril and distress and that’s no bull. Hehehehe! Last week, we left the Spanish Conquistador in dreamland, where in his dreams, he found himself on a rocket ship rigged with explosives! But as exciting as that was, none of it really ever happened. What did happen however was the Spanish Conquistador argued pointlessly with an Unnamed Assailant and fell asleep, unfulfilled. Some hero, huh? Also last week, Professor Gludlum devilishly plotted against the same Spanish Conquistador and sent his army of seemingly rabid genetically enhanced ultra unfriendly super squirrels to devour and bring back the head of our protagonist. But wait, he awakens!
Spanish Conquistador: I feel asleep again, I can’t believe, I’m the Spanish Conquistador. I’m not suppose to fall asleep. (Gasp) Wait, what is this? A guy? I feel asleep with a guy? Not again! Hey! Hey buddy! Buddy! Hey! Hey you! Uh, wake up!
The Unnamed Assailant: I am awake. I swear we only talked. Now, what’s for breakfast?
Spanish Conquistador: You don’t get breakfast cause you are too stupid to eat. Now let’s duel to the death! Engarde!
Announcer: As the Spanish Conquistador readies himself for battle, he hears a slight sound in the distance.
Spanish Conquistador: I know that sound. I would know that sound anywhere. That is the sound of the seemingly rabid genetically enhanced ultra unfriendly super squirrels. We must not battle now, we must hurry and save ourselves for they are deadly (pause) and mean.
The Unnamed Assailant: I didn’t think from a tag name like that, that they would be nice.
Spanish Conquistador: Shut up, you juvenile slush and get moving! They are coming for us.
The Unnamed Assailant: I’m too young and too pretty to die today!
Announcer: The Spanish Conquistador begins a mad dash across the grass. Unbeknownst to him, one of the flying squirrels had climbed a tree and was now soaring overhead, ready to pummel the Spanish Conquistador into submission. Can the Spanish Conquistador outwit the witty vermin with his own mind? Does Professor Gludlum have another plan of attack ready if his seemingly rabid genetically enhanced ultra unfriendly super squirrels fail their mission? Why has the Unnamed Assailant still not been properly introduced? Find out in yet another week on The Spanish Conquistador!