Custom Comedy for only 5 Bucks!

Custom Comedy!!!

Ian Staley has agreed to make a fool out of himself for our entertainment. He’s been doing so on an amateur level his whole life and now you can get in on the fun as he goes professional. You’ll have to cough up a fiver, but for that, you can make demands of him and he’ll do them! Simply use a PayPal account to send 5 dollars to cinemaguy1@gmail.com along with your request.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugK2ApOCz-0]

So, A couple of rules on this.

1) No sex stuff. No one wants to see that and even if you do, I’m sure we all agree five bucks of it wouldn’t buy you what you were looking for anyway.

2) It’s got to be something he can do pretty quickly without cost. No sense spending twelve hours and 100 bucks for your 5 bucks.

3) Nothing that could harm him or anyone else.

So, with those reasonable limits, let your imagination go wild! We’re all waiting to see what you come up with.

The Dark Knight Rises

Comic book movies are a dime a dozen these days especially if you’re the one still buying DVDs, but we’ve been treated to incredibly high art with this current Batman franchise from Christopher Nolan and they’ve been worth the cost of owning. You know the story. Batman’s been around almost 75 years now and the character has grown substantially, but we’re on board with the basics. His parents were shot in front of him and he coped by training himself for a life in a bat costume fighting crime. He’s a modern myth capable of almost anything. There have been tens of thousands of Batman stories, but one the very finest comes to an end today.

Liam. Cillian. Aaron. Heath. Anne. Tom. Michael. Gary. Morgan. Christian.

This is some major talent that has been granted to us for our modern myth. Heath sticks out the most, no doubt, but we haven’t been disappointed by any of them. I credit this fact to Christopher Nolan. This was not a small achievement on his part. Batman will no doubt be rebooted faster than Spiderman, but unlike those series, I really doubt anyone will be arguing which was better.

I will be eagerly waiting in line tonight for a midnight showing among the die hards of which I am very much one. It’s the finale. Batman will rise. And I’m sure so will ticket sales.

Navigating through WordPress

You may have noticed files dropping like flies around here. Have no fear, Kid in a Cape is still here. We’re just migrating our files from our WordPress to our own selfhosted Wordpress site. If you’ve never done this before, it takes a little time and finesse. All will be restored and you will be able to keep enjoying all our fine content. Nothing is really gone, just with so much moving around to http://www.kidinacape.com, things may pop in and out until the final push is made to its own native permanent home. Then, you’ll see some amazing things really start to happen! We wouldn’t do this if it didn’t all add up to a much better experience for you.

5 Reasons You Should Change Your Life

I’m nearly 30 years old and still have dreams. For me, I’ve wanted my own environment to create easily. Really, that’s my big dream. Getting the tools together to make projects easily without having to figure everything out from scratch every time. Doing so requires a commitment though.

Well, not do it no more! …if you’ll pardon the double negative. I should create this environment for myself and so should you. Maybe you want to take up running, maybe you want to lose weight, maybe you want to write that novel or blog. You can and should change your life today to get to your goals. Putting it off again is no longer an option. I don’t have to convince you want to pursue something. You already do and you should. And you should start right now.

“Why” you ask?

1) You’re the only one who can

We tend to know this intellectually, but we don’t practice it. We are surrounded with people and assume they will help us on some level. Many of us fail to recognize they are going through their own problems and most people don’t actually think about us all that often. You won’t just be handed the life you want. You haven’t yet, so why are you still waiting for it?

2) It’s fun working toward your dreams and making progress

When you truly have a passion for something, it’s harder not to do it than it is to do it. There’s a lot of enjoyment to be had working on projects building toward a life you want. You aren’t choosing your dreams tomorrow, you’re rerouting the ship of your life toward a destination of your own choosing instead of going with the flow. That voyage is enjoyable when you can look back and see how far you’ve come. It’s immensely rewarding.

3) It’s easy

Passion makes your dreams accessible. It’s the drive that keeps you going. It’s that desire to make yourself better. And it’s a strong motivator. The strongest you’ll ever encounter. When you really want something, it’s not the voyage that’s the challenge, it’s getting started and overcoming the fear of failing. When you get started with changing your life and get into the groove of living a different and more enjoyable way, nothing can stop you. You’ll drive yourself to succeed. Finishing will become easier than quitting.

4) You can do it

This and the last one are ones people don’t believe about themselves and where most the discouragement comes from. Maybe best to accept the premise outright about yourself as well. We all convince ourselves there are challenges we must overcome first, that other things are more important and we can not actually commit ourselves right now or that we never can. Anyone can start. You’re not an exception.

5) Why not? 

Why You Should Like Memes

I’ve been sharing articles and other media from this site to my social media profiles since the revamp and not getting much traction. It’s difficult to get word out even when your friends number is quite high and your fan page is coming up to its 200th fan. There are paid ads I can put together, sponsors and partners I could hope to join with to improve my viewership, but there’s no real guarantee with any of those and I could just be throwing my money away and not find anymore of an audience.

Starting with my friends list should be an easy thing. These are all people that have claimed to care about me and hopefully they’ll read any words I write. Well, not quite. I’ve had recent success with a small social media campaign I put together of creating and sharing internet memes. A meme is simply a frequently shared idea that grows into the cultural lexicon. When done in social media, it’s typically done from choosing from a limited selection of pictures and adding text to evoke humor or some inside joke. They vary in quality and range. Overall, they are simply a quick conveyance of a simple idea, like a Tweet. Nothing more.

Why did I think this could work to gain awareness of this site? Well, they are easily digestible and adding a picture to words hugely maximizes the likelihood of someone reading, liking and sharing. A good meme goes from obscure to overshared as soon as it reaches George Takei on Facebook. They spread and uses in guerilla marketing are still mostly untapped. They’re a current fade and all sucessful campaigns are on trend, not ahead or behind. This is the time for them from a marketer’s perspective. There is a benefit to customizing these to your needs and sharing right now. They will become part of a group’s knowledge very quickly. We all stop and read them in our newsfeeds while skipping right past text.

I wrote several shamelessly mentioning this website in many of them. Adapt the meme to what you’re hoping to introduce and at no cost and high consumption ratios, it’s a win/win. More people certainly paid attention. Clearly, there isn’t a longtime future for things like this. Many are already bored of them, so get in now before you’re trying to push your Pogs to Pokemon fans. The internet moves fast these days.

Meme generators are easy to come by and many offer you the ability of uploading your own photo for even more customization. Try out memegenerator.net or quickmeme.com and start making and sharing your own memes today. Share your stories of success with us in the comments.

Celebrity Jeopardy

Here’s a little comedy sketch I wrote in high school. You know those SNL Celebrity Jeopardy sketches? This was one we did in my theater class. Pretty fun time.

_______________________________

(opening music for celebrity jeopardy)

Trebek: Welcome back to celebrity jeopardy. With the Weakest Link now on this network, I thought they’d finally fire me and I could quit having to put up with this every week, but no, I’m still here. Anyway, Keanu Reeves is at –$7,200. Scott Baio is at –$3,000 and our returning champion Sean Connery has $100 because the answer to the only question he rang into last round was actually “Damn you, Trebek.” The writers are having a little fun with me, I guess. Okay, with that said let’s look at the categories: They are Say anything, Letters, Numbers below 2, Movies that begin with The Matrix, Hugh Hefner’s ex wives, and Canadian game show hosts and I think I know where that one is going so let’s change that one to Shiny Objects. Mr. Baio, the board is yours.

Baio: I’m just doing this stupid show for the money.

Trebek: Mr. Baio, all of your money is going to charity.

(As Trebek speaks, Baio scribbles out his name on his name board and writes the word charity in its place.)

Trebek: That’s not going to work. Not like it makes a difference anyway with your score. Mr. Connery, why don’t you pick?

Connery: Ah, so I see, Trebek. You call upon me to do your dirty work. We’ll I’m not gonna give you the satisfaction, you bloody little man.

Trebek: Alright fine. Mr. Reeves, if you could.

Reeves: Alright, I’ll take movies to block.

Trebek: That’s a different game show, but here’s the answer. This movie starred Keanu Reeves and was about the Matrix.

Baio: What is Oklahoma?

Trebek: No. Mr. Reeves?

Reeves: (long pause) I didn’t buzz in.

Trebek: Don’t you know the answer?

Reeves: You mean question?

Trebek: Yeah.

Reeves: No.

Trebek: The answer is, Mr. Reeves, this movie starred Keanu Reeves and was about the Matrix.

(Long pause)

Reeves: Oh!!! (rings in) What is Superman?

Trebek: That was Christopher Reeve, not Keanu Reeves.

(Connery rings in)

Trebek: Mr. Connery.

Connery: Batman!!!

Trebek: No. The answer was The Matrix. Mr. Connery, pick a category.

Connery: Fine. I’ll take Hugh Hefner sex wives. I’ll take ‘em all.

Trebek: That’s ex wives.

Connery: Hey, however you Canadian’s wanna say it is fine with me, just let me have them.

Trebek: I’m not even going to get into that category.

Connery: I bet you never have gotten in there, have you Trebek?

Trebek: Okay I’m calling Say anything for 200. The answer is Say anything. Anything at all.

(Baio rings in.)

Trebek: Mr. Baio.

(Baio plays Mary had a little lamb with his buzzer until the time runs out.)

Trebek: No.

Long pause.

Reeves rings in.

Trek: Mr. Reeves.

Reeves finish the song and laughs to himself.

Trebek: No. I’m convinced you all need to be removed from society. Mr. Baio, pick a category.

Baio: Okay, uh, the, last one.

Trebek: Shiny objects for 1,000. For this question, just name a shiny object. Any shiny object will do.

Reeves rings in.

Trebek: Mr. Reeves.

Reeves: I’ll take numbers below 2 for 8 million.

Trebek: I’ll give you that when it’s your turn.

Reeves rings in again.

Trebek: Mr. Reeves, I will have you gagged.

Reeves: Okay fine. Movies for 400.

Trebek: No.

Baio: Am I winning?

Trebek: No. And time is up. You are all morons. Going now to numbers below 2 for 8hundred . (Consults card) I don’t even think you can mess this one up. This is the only whole number below 2.

Reeves: What is 2?

Trebek: Below 2. Not 2. What would be below two?

Connery rings in.

Trebek: Mr. Connery.

Connery: Hugh Hefner.

Trebek: No.

Connery: Yeah that’s right. He’d be below two. Two sex wives, that is. Ha ha. Get it?

Trebek: Yes I get it.

Connery: I don’t think you do, Trebek. I don’t think you ever have.

Trebek: Okay that’s enough. One more question and we’re moving to Final Jeopardy. Letters for 400. Name this letter.  An “X” appears on the board.

Instantly Connery rings in.

Trebek: I’m not even going to listen to what you have to say about that letter. I know you’re going to put three of them together and then insult my sex life, right?

Connery: (long pause) Dammit!

Reeves rings in.

Trebek:  Mr. Reeves.

Reeves: There is no spoon.

Trebek: We actually would have given that to you if the category was shiny objects, but no, that is wrong.

Baio rings in.

Trebek:  Mr. Baio.

Baio: That’s how they describe me! As an ex-celebrity! Ha Ha. I win.

Trebek: Actually, Mr. Baio, Ex starts with an “E”

Baio: No, it doesn’t.

Trebek: Yes it does. We can’t give that to you.

Baio: Hey, I’m in charge here, remember? (Singing) Charles in charge of meeeee………

Trebek: (interrupting) And for Final Jeopardy. The category is Famous Names and the answer is ‘Write your name.’ (music plays) Just sign your podium. Give me your autograph, like you do when fans ask for them, or for you, Mr. Baio, when the UPS man delivers something. Just write your name on the podium. Your name. First and Last. Just last. Just first. Whatever. Okay now; let’s see if any of you got this right. Sean Connery you wrote sex wives and lets see what you wagered. Okay, that’s not something we can show on television, so, moving on to Scott Baio and he wrote chachi which we can’t give him, but let’s see his wager and he wrote chachi again.

Baio: So, I win twice, right?

Trebek: You didn’t win at all.

Baio: Now I have to go back to my job at the metal institute.

Trebek: Yeah, “Job,” sure, whatever. Moving on to Mr. Reeves. You wrote for your name. ‘Your’ and I think I know where this going (Reveal wager) ‘name.’ Your name. Sorry. So, again, small children at the charities will not be getting any presents this Christmas. I’m very sorry. Well, I’m Alex Trebek and this network can shove my lifetime contract. I’m done.

(music plays)

Get Psyched Poem

Image

I’m going to stay up until I’m too tired to sleep

I’m going to eat whatever the hell I want

Don’t tell me how to live

It’s your turn to count some sheep

I have some more living to do before I’m dead

I feel like I’m going to explode from within

I feel like I need to go out and sin

The world is here now and I’m a part of it

I better do this now before I lose all my nerve

Listen to your heart beat with all that blood

That’s how you know you still have some time left

Go out there and take life by the balls

Don’t ever let ‘em go and they’ll always serve you well

Britcoms

I’m a pretty pro-America guy overall. I like to support local markets in hopes those goods and services will continue to be available to me, but I have strong limits on this thinking. I am usually first to check out new new businesses for services such as oil change places, salons, eating. Big chains have been tried and I understand the experience of going to Taco Bell, but sometimes I want something new and different, something unique to my area and maybe even unique to me. I’ll shop around on the big ticket items and won’t put locality above price for example. I support the market if the market supports me.

In one part of my life, I continue to dismiss domestic brands and lean toward foreign though and that is in entertainment. For much of that, I look to England. Everything from the BBC to their far superior sense of humor has enticed me since I was a young lad to the present time of being an old bloke. My interest began where many others did, with Mr. Bean. I ripped through the entire series of Mr. Bean in about a day, no big feat considering it’s only 14 episodes and loved every second of it. I knew virtually nothing of the world in which it was created or even of the people on screen. I just knew something about its presence was hitting me hard like nothing before it had done. I had been interested in comedy my entire life and still consider it first on my list of creativity. Sure, I had been interested in many things before then, mostly Alf and Perfect Strangers and while I loved them, I felt something about their voice was more limiting in nature than something created in a British culture. Mr. Bean was my first window into that world of allowing for virtually anything to occur. That was not something I sensed from watching Alf or Perfect Strangers.

As you probably know, Rowan Atkinson is the star of Mr. Bean. My huge liking of his portrayal of Mr. Bean lead me quickly to his other work and before long it was not odd as a viewer to see him speak. I started with his one man show and laughed harder than I ever had before. He was conniving and willing to be quite rude and put others in harm’s way for his own selfish drives. This is not something I personally like to see reflected on screen, but the fact a character was willing to be vindictive and almost unlikable in attempts to get a laugh really spoke to me at an early age. I felt these characters were not willing to sugarcoat anything for me. I was being shown another angle than I was getting in any American sitcom and I was enjoying its darkness immensely.

They call it dark or black humor when not so nice things happen to people while trying to make them laugh. It’s a genre of comedy you either love or you don’t. It’s surprisingly more mainstream than one may suspect. Anything from Death to Smoochy to Death at a Funeral or other death related comedies are all examples. Mr. Bean didn’t deal much with the darker side of comedy, but Rowan Atkinson most certainly has. His other material is much more adult oriented and after years of growth something I have found far more appreciation for. To me, there’s just more substance in an episode of Black Adder than Mr. Bean. There’s something they are trying to say about the world, about hierarchy, about trying to get ahead both figuratievely and in some episodes literally.

Moon Landing Anniversary

I’d like to acknowledge July 20th is probably the coolest day of human history. Specifically 1969. It was the first time a human being ever stepped onto a piece of land that was not Earth and we began our off world exploration of other places. Our journey is currently suspended, but I’d like to remind everyone on this day that it is not over. Our species must at some point scatter ourselves amongst the heavens for any chance at long-term survival. When we are all centrally located, we are to mimic the fate of the dinosaurs. In some regards, space travel is paramount to all other human concerns in that way.

While the American space program is indefinitely on hold, private citizens are stepping up to flip the bill for further research and the cool idea of space travel for all is slowly beginning to take hold. There is a tremendously long wait for this to become affordable for the average citizen, but luckily, all our indications do lead us down that path in a timely enough manner for it to become doable. Programs like SpaceX have already sent rockets into space without any government assistance whatsoever and currently have their sights on visiting Mars. Our grandchildren may be the ones to see this happen. We may even be fortunate to witness this if we live so long. Remember it has been speculated the first person ever to live to 150 years old has probably already been born.

There’s a lot going on to be excited about. It’s been a bit of a sad year to those strongly promoting we don’t give up our programs, but progress is not on hold. That is something I, myself, am extremely happy about. Mars may be our next big step in our goal of protecting ourselves from total annihilation in the face of one planet of trillions being destroyed. I hope we see it happen. In the meantime, take the day to remember it was only 42 years ago today that we began spreading ourselves to other worlds. I submit we’ll see it again without having to sit through Transformers 3.

-Ian
http://kidinacape.com/